I get a big laugh out of what we fat gals like to do,
We like to believe a lot of things we know just aren’t true.
We like to believe the scale that weighs the least when we know it isn’t right,
We like to buy a dress a smaller size when we know it is too tight.

Doc puts us on a diet and when we go he’ll frown,
And say the scales show we went up instead of going down.
Then we look so disappointed and sorta catch our breath,
And say “we just can’t understand it — why we starved ourselves to death”.

Then our conscience starts reminding us of the night we came home late
How we raided the icebox and the “dagwood” that we ate.
And then the grin we see on Doc’s face makes our face a little red,
And we know he’s not believing a single word we said.

I’m so glad I’ve lived a long time and can remember ‘way back when
You had to have some meat on your bones to attract the men.
O how those skinny gals used to envy me,
For I had an hour glass figure that was pretty good to see.

The past forty years have changed that in a most unfortunate way
But it is nice to look back and feel I had my day
For I had a sister when she married weighed just 89 pounds,
She managed to double that as the years rolled around.

She used to have a set of stiff starched ruffles she fastened on up here,
And then she tied on a set of bustles that were made up in three tiers.
She managed to have an artificial hour glass figure, but folks I do declare
When she went to bed at night her figure was on the chair.

Poor sis was thin when she should have been fat,
Now she’s fat when she should be thin,
But I have the satisfaction of knowing
There was a time I liked the shape I was in.

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