I picked up my paper one night,
Just before I went to bed,
I got a great big laugh
Out of something that I read.
It was in the Readers column
And the heading made me pause,
For it was written by an angry father
And was called “Box top Santa Claus”.
This father said he had two children
And as Christmas was drawing near,
He tried to tell them the usual Christmas Story
That parents tell children every year.
That Santa was a jolly old fellow,
A messenger of love
His gifts were symbolic of those
The Wise Men brought our Saviour above.
And if they were good children
And helped their Mom in every way,
Santa Claus would bring them lots of toys
On Christmas Day.
They had to keep their face and hands clean
Keep their feet off the chairs,
Brush their teeth each morning
And always say their prayers.
Then he’d write a letter to Santa
And tell him they were good;
On Christmas morning he would bring them
All the toys he could.
He said he noticed while he talked
There was a question in their eyes
He sort of had the feeling
Someone had put them wise.
Then up speaks little Junior,
“Dad, there’s something you should know,
That’s not the way we heard the story
On our radio.
You don’t have to brush your teeth no more,
Nor keep your face and hands so clean,
‘Cause Santa Claus brings all his toys to girls and boys
That eat Oleo margarine.
And margarine’s got vitamins, Dad
That’s awfully good for you
And Santa Claus ought to know it
For he says he eats it too.
And the boys and girls who eat the most
Will get an awful lot,
He knows how much you eat
‘Cause you got to save him the empty box”.
Well this father was so dumbfounded,
He didn’t know what to say,
So he just listened while
A young boys’ imagination ran away.
“Dad, I’ll bet he doesn’t use his sleigh this year
To bring around our stuff,
‘Cause he’s gonna have so much
It won’t be big enough.
I’ll bet he’ll use all those box tops
To build a great big truck
And if we don’t send in a lot of them
We’ll all be out of luck.
And don’t you think he should change his reindeers’ names
To A and B and C,
‘Cause that’s what he calls those vitamins
That’s so good for you and me” ?
Well, This father said “We’ll have to change the Christmas Story
That for years has been told
Since they mixed Santa Claus with box tops
The old one doesn’t hold.
I don’t know what you’d tell them,
But it might help a lot,
To say, Junior if you don’t behave
You won’t get another box top.
They say it pays to advertise,
But must they do it in this way,
By shattering dreams of little children
That God sent around our way?
So Mr. Editor I know you’re busy
But won’t you kindly pause
And help me pul the skids on
This Box Top Santa Claus”?
