I can’t tell this story on myself, you’d know it wasn’t true,
For I don’t drive a car, but I have a lot of friends who do.
And this little story came from one of those driving friends of mine –
I thought it was funny, so I turned it into rhyme.
This lady told me she was driving one day in a strange neighborhood,
Taking it rather slowly, because the road was not too good.
She could see down the road, she was coming to an intersection;
So she got out the list she’d made, to follow the right direction.
She pulled up to the intersection slowly, looked both up and down –
She was sure there was nothing coming, before she turned around.
She noticed on the corner there was a great big traffic cop,
But what she failed to notice, was a sign there that said “STOP”.
As she turned around the corner, she saw the policeman wave –
She thought, that’s a funny way for a policeman to behave.
But she thought “he’s just in a playful mood, trying to flirt with me –
So I’ll just wave back and show him what a good sport I can be.
So she pulled around the corner and started on her way –
Then she heard a whistle she’d remember to her dying day.
She looked in her rear vision mirror, to see who he was going to get –
And then she saw something else that she really didn’t expect.
For she was the one he was after, just why she didn’t know,
And If he was still in that playful mood, she’d tell him where to go.
So she put on her brakes and pulled over to the curb
To get ready to meet a policeman, with an overdose of nerve.
As he came up, she said, “Officer, what do you want with me, I’ve done nothing wrong,
If you’ll kindly state your business, I’d like to run along. “
He said “Lady, that street you came out of has a sign there that says “STOP”
And II you women would learn to read those signs, it would help us a lot. “
“Oh, Officer”, she said “If there’s a stop sign there, I’m sorry it’s one I didn’t see,
But you’ll admit, I’m sure, that I was driving very carefully. “
“I pulled up very slowly and I looked both up and down
I was sure there was nothing coming, before I pulled out and turned around.
How I’d ever miss a stop sign I really cannot say,
For I’m a very careful driver, and I’m driving every day. “
But she said her speech made no Impression, he gave her a look that was mean and wicked,
Asked for her drivers license, and wrote her out a ticket.
Well, her sportsman’s spirit had vanished, and she quickly pulled away,
Because she knew what she was thinking, she didn’t dare to say.
So from a safe distance, she said “I simply will not pay it,
I’ll just show that cop a thing or two, I’ll just take it to the judge, that’s exactly what I’ll do. “
And take it to the judge she did, but she said she really felt quite small,
When she got up in that crowded courtroom when her name was called.
And the judge said, “Lady, it seems that the charge against you for the ticket that you got,
Is that you passed an intersection with a stop sign, and you failed to stop.”
“Yes, Judge, the policeman said there was a stop sign there, I didn’t go back to see –
But if he’s honest, he will tell you that I was driving carefully –
That I pulled up to the intersection slowly, and I looked both up and down –
I was sure there was nothing coming, before I pulled out and turned around.
And how I ever missed the stop sign I really cannot say,
For I never missed one before, and I’m driving every day.
And really, I don’t mind telling you, Judge, to get that ticket, I was surprised as I could be –
Why I thought when the policeman waved, he was trying to flirt with me.”
Well, she said, immediately the courtroom was in an uproar, Judge and all laughed so hard,
That she had a feeling that instead of getting a fine for this, she should get a reward.
And she said she was so embarrassed, she knew her face was red –
And finally the judge rapped for order, and this is what he said:
“Well, lady, I suppose you know by this time that the officer was not flirting,
And if he hadn’t given you a ticket for going thru a stop sign, his duty he’d be shirking.
But since you say that this is the first stop sign that you have ever missed,
I’ll just say – don’t ever let it happen again, the case has been dismissed. “
