Everybody works but Grandpa, he sits around all day
He’s got old age retirement – at least that’s what they say.
Now Grandma’s no spring chicken – you all know that is true –
But if she gets retirement, what will my Grandpa do?
For Grandma does his washing – she does his ironing too
She cooks, and does the cleaning – it seems she’s never thru
This thing they call retirement – I just can’t understand
Why is it that retirement is only made for man?

My Grandpa has some chickens he talks to them each day
And I laugh like the dickens when I hear him say —
Now you must lay some eggs for me – you hear vot I said?
Ven you don’t lay no eggs for me – den I chop off your head.
Dis food I giff cost money – I buy it at der store
Ven you don’t lay no eggs for me – den I can’t buy no more.
I let you out a little vile – you eat yourself some greens
But you stay vher I told you – don’t scratch in Mamma’s beans

I never knew that chickens had any brains at all,
But they understand my grandpa and answer to his call,
And he’s collecting eggs each day – it’s strange but very true,
So if your chickens do not lay – just you sweet talk them too
I have two nice grandmas – I like them both a lot,
They will never need retirement with all the pep they’ve not,
And when I look at women past three score and ten,
Now I know why retirement was only meant for men.

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